My new year’s wish for you and I.

During our new year’s noche buena with my dad’s side of the family, my cousins and I talked about each other’s resolutions. I must say it was a one-sided conversation as I have yet to list down mine. But one-sided as it was, I was actually inspired to get mine started, asap.

Which brings me to this morning: still in my pjs in bed, with left-over fire crackers booming from the other side of the valley (quite literally as we live in a mountain), I shuffled in my mind the new things I could do for the year. I have a list, with “pigging out less” at the top of it. I’m actually not sure on how to go about that, but it’s staying up there. And while I was deciding on which to prioritize between “be more organized” and “joke less”, a word so important to me came into mind.

GUMPTION.

To make it easy for you, here’s a definition by Google:

It’s my most favorite word in the world. The moment I learned of it as the fitting title to Hans Zimmer’s musical piece (check: The Holiday OST), I became attached to it like a madwoman. I kept it in the recesses of my mind; a word spoken rarely or spoken in a hushed tone only insects could hear.

Now I’m sharing it with you because this is my number one new year’s wish for you and I.

This is so we get to accomplish all our resolutions with enough gusto to last the whole year (or whatever timeframe we give ourselves). So we can begin chasing our heart’s desires and turn mere abstractions into–bit by every bit–realities. Really, it doesn’t matter what we decide for ourselves this year. What matters is if we have the gumption to get them done.

I have made so many resolutions in my life that are now filed under ‘backlogs’ and here I am, most definitely not getting any younger (Hello there, 25, sitting 10 months away from where I am). Had I been less scared or had I made no reservations whatsoever, I would have at least made it half-way through them by now.

To fearlessly run for my life, to constantly feel the excitement of steering my own ship, these are what I need to get me through the new year splendidly. I wish the same for you. :)

Remember, gumption’s the word.

Happy new year!

My Christmas people!

Needless to say (but I’m saying it anyway), Christmas will not be Christmas without dear friends and the most cherishing tradition of love and family.

I hope you had a swell Christmas! :)

24 years later

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There is this certain pressure on me every time I turn a year older. The kind of pressure that can perfectly be encapsulated by two questions: How have I changed? Where am I headed? To say that I have not learned anything would put my 24th year to sham; to say that I got both myself and my life completely figured out would be a total overstatement.

Fresh from college, my head was filled with ideals. I had very specific expectations from life and how the world should be. Now, a full year into working for a publishing company, I am greeted by the learning that the world never bows down to our wishes. The world just is.

I suppose I have changed in the sense that my idealistic self has been chipped off by blocks. At 16, I would be sad at the thought of this. At 24, it’s now a simple fact of life I’m grateful to slowly learn and accept. With the lack of perfect situations life has to offer, I’m starting to develop a renewed sense of appreciation for the tiniest details that in a way have a glimmer of perfection

Having good breakfast, drinking great coffee, feeling the wind on my cheek, having hilarious chats during traffic—suddenly these make the highlights of my days. I realize that when I truly appreciate these almost-minute day-to-day details, everything becomes lighter. Heck, the whole world can be in full-blown chaos and I could care less because of the sumptuous breakfast I just had.

This isn’t something we learn when we are young and hyper-focused on the glitz and glam of “bigger” and more prominent events of life. I suppose this is something we learn when we come of age, and I’d like to think I’m on my way to fully understanding this.

Where I’m headed, I can’t tell you yet. In fact, I’m still in the process of knowing everything there is to know out here before I pin down where (or what it is) I want to direct my days to. But here’s a precious take away from my 24th year: It really isn’t so much about the destination, no. It’s all about the walk – the precious moments that make up my days and the memories I create with the people around me. And if I just have a complete understanding of what it is to live well – in spite the world being just is – I’d like to be able to say, upon reaching my final destination, “now that was a really, really good walk.”

I wrote this 5 days after my 24th birthday last October. I wanted to share with you this very personal mental note from me originally only to myself, but now also for you. :)