Let Him.

Dear Aix,

Did you see the sun set behind the silhouette of the city skyline today? You were in the 3rd round of your run and upon catching sight of that stunning orange color sinking into deeper hues, you stopped midway to marvel at it. The outline of the skyscrapers became more and more visible by each second as the sun slowly hid itself. Your heart was pounding, your forehead was perspiring, and your efforts of catching your breath doubled because of your drastic stop. Then you unplugged your earphones to absorb the sight  with all your senses. It was one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen and in that moment, time stood still. I remember you whispering to yourself, “God is here.”

You went out for a run today because your mind was screaming out too many thoughts — too many for you to handle. You had to get away, even just for a while. You pushed yourself to your limit and constantly fought between the weak and the strong versions of you. Every step of your run was your internal self at war; a question of whether you should keep going or not. For a while there, you thought your mind wouldn’t give you rest. Then you saw the sunset. You thought it was full of splendor and all of a sudden, a sense of peace dawned on you. The kind of peace you have not felt in a long time — wherein nothing else mattered but you and the beauty before your eyes. And you thought: that particular sight, at that particular moment, was made just for you.

You are loved. In every single second of your life, you know it deep inside you. When you find yourself in doubt, remember the beautiful sunset that took your breath away today. It was for you. He has made so many beautiful things just for you. All you need to do is stop, let go, and marvel at them. This is His way of embracing you for all you are, all you had been through, and all you are to be. Let Him… let Him.

On forgetting.

“I want to forget..”

Someone told me that the other day. Everyone wishes for this ability at least once in their lives. Y’know how annoying it is when we keep forgetting things like the calculator to a math exam, the apartment keys inside the already locked apartment.. the list could go on and on. BUT! But when it comes to our so-called “garbage” memory, we can’t seem to make our minds forget them. And the more effort we exert in trying to do so, the more we fail at it.

After years of necessary experience, I had only this as a reply to my friend: “There’s no such thing as forgetting. Only acceptance.”

So yes, I’m going to leave it to that. We only got two choices: be frustrated in attempting to do the physically impossible (in this case, forgetting), OR we wait it out and keep doing something else ’til we’ve fully accepted the reality of our past — in a way still doing something about it. What’s it gonna be?