If God were to ask me this week, “Have you been behaved?”
I’d answer, “This week? Generally, yes.”
If God were to ask me, “Have you been behaved this month?”
“I’ll get back to you on that.”
I have been in an irate bubble. For some reason, there is this specific person I just can’t seem to give allowances to. Normally, when new people come in, I’d be intrigued, and would be the most welcoming. Hosting hat on, shake a hand, and wish we’d be best friends the next day. Or, if best friends can’t cut it, at least I’d be chill about the person, whatever or whoever she/he may be like. That has always been me. Except for this one person who’s been making it so easy for me to act otherwise. And I’m actually serious about this.
I would enumerate the ways she gets to me. But from my readings, even shutting my mouth up in moments I’m so itching to vent can serve as an offering to God. Um.. Okay? I don’t know how saints did it but sure, let’s try that.
So I want to strike a deal with God right now. Not that I’m entitled to it or anything with how I’ve been behaving lately. But mostly because I now realize how trivial these emotions are in spite their compelling killer nature.
These are nothing compared to watching my real friends cry over obstacles and burdens I wish I had the capacity to take away from them.
Here is my deal with you, God, and I’m not taking no for an answer: these small inconveniences and little irritations that I now admit hardly amount to anything, please use them to purchase a family I have in my heart.