You tell me you’re coming back. But you don’t want me to wait because, according to you, I deserve to be happy; that, finding someone else is the ultimate joy for anyone, me included. To be honest with you, I’ve already outgrown that kind of search. The search, as I had experienced it, can and will invalidate anything and everything anyone knows about love. And you saved me from all that. Do you remember? You came with perfect timing You held my hand and showed me that the only search there is in life is the search of happiness that comes from within. You showed me by example. By the way you kid around, the way you sang your sentences, the way you treated your friends here, etc. You showed me that the search is not about getting your happiness from another person, but finding enough happiness within yourself so you could freely and fully give a part of it to that someone else. It’s not about feeding off of someone’s stash. It’s earning enough for yourself so you can, eventually, provide and sustain. I saw that in you, and you poured to me your happiness, winking and half-joking, “there’s more where that came from.”
This is the path I’ve been treading and so far, I’ve never been in a better place such as this. I have so much to learn about this place you showed me, so much more to see, and so much more to feel. My search for love has finally shifted its course, which isn’t so bad. Love can and will wait until I’m ready for it again.
