Santa’s little elf!

Yesterday (Jan 1, 2012), while everyone was busy on facebook posting statuses such as “Bring it on, 2012!” or talking to the new year as if it was Santa Clause the dream giver (lol), I was on my bedroom floor, wrapping gifts. I know, I know, I am days late, you would say. But to my defense, technically it still is Christmas, so.. you can go ask the holy father himself bout the validity of my perceived “lateness”. Ha ha! This you will like: what was supposed to be a simple activity of gift wrapping and card signing turned out to be an opportunity for a bit of creativity. Some ribbons, cardboard papers, fiber wrappers, nail polish (yup, nail polish), and BAM! It was the best gift wrapping activity of my life! Hah

These are a few from the bunch of Christmas cards I made yesterday afternoon. If you were to ask me, personalized gifts are the sweetest gifts you can give to anyone. Not to mention the fun that comes with it upon thoughtful production. (Though maybe when I start working, start getting busy — and start getting boring lol — gift giving would downgrade into a simpler kind, God I hope not)

Here are the things you’ll need. I did use metallic nail polish, the gold one from my stash. Back in grade school, I used to experiment with different kinds of paper and my metallic (sometimes, frosted) nail polishes — I think I made stationaries out of them. What’s nice about using nail polish, especially when you’re in a hurry (since my dad and I were scheduled to deliver them on the same day), is that it dries up quickly. Hah! Use cardboard paper so it’s thick enough to withstand all that nail glitter. Don’t forget to air them out though, some people — like my dad — can’t stand nail polish scent.

Close up of final pieces. I wrote in the cards first before I “painted” the front  — so drying period will be the last of your card making process. Playing with variety of ideas is fun too! I started with the standard tree, then I experimented with the belen, the Filipino parol, and a candle (my favorite among the lot).

So this is how it looked like. My room became a war zone of cut ribbons, papers, wrappers, and threads. Ha ha.

I must say, giving brought me to a different kind of “high”. It’s like unloading a bit of my happiness to those in my list; who by the way, were those who helped in sending me to Spain last August. I am glad that I spent my first day of 2012 creating something that is SOO my own. While in the car, as my dad and I went around for distribution, I couldn’t help but raise the cards to the light and look at the golden drawings shimmer in each turn of the card. As William Blake had put it, “my business is to create.” Hm. I think I have found this year’s motto. *wink*

These were my new year highlights: my turn over from 2011 to 2012 personal diary, time spent with my family, and skype with a dear friend.

Wrapping up 2011

This is my last diary entry for the year 2011. Needless to say, I am very happy about this entry that I just had to put it here. Before you go any further into this post, note that I used aliases for the people I had mentioned here. 

Two days.. including this one before the new year 2012. Do you know what that makes me feel? It makes me feel friggin’ EXCITED! If someone were to scan my diary entries in the past year (of course that wouldn’t be available for your perusal ha ha), one would agree with me that it had been a very long year. A lot of downs, and a few very significant highs. What is it (–or what was it) about 2011 that got me flung far away from my comfort zone of “safe” decisions?

I had literally — quite literally — chased what I thought could be “happiness” in every possible way. I was a fearless warrior disguised as a college student. What did I find in the post war silence? Jude and friends. Early on, upon reflecting on this year’s pursuit of happiness, I began to think that maybe my efforts had been nothing but futile attempts. Now as I look back (gaining a clearer vision now), it was all as simple as me needing to learn a couple of things myself. That love cannot be forced to bloom; and that happiness is something I can find within myself.

Jude unconsciously helped rebuild my concept of happiness. He didn’t need me to need him. He simply wanted me to be happy. He was the proponent that opened my eyes to all the other possibilities of joy that surround me day in and day out. Those possibilities I fail to notice because of my self-absorption into sadness. Is Jude my ultimate source of renewed joy? I have asked this time and again. In full confidence, I believe he has become an essential part of it. In the sense that he had equipped me to love every bit of happiness there is to love in the people who care for me. Now I have come to the conclusion that my ultimate source of joy is the one that comes from within that helps me to appreciate life in a whole new level.

For 2012, I am challenged to dismiss all kinds of discomfort I have with the thoughts of Pete. Maybe it will never be possible but it still is worth trying. After talking to a common friend about how he is, I honestly gained a tinge of gumption to hate him — for the first time!  Friends would probably call this a great leap for me. But I couldn’t do it for exerting more effort to harness any human emotion to what we had will not help me accept what I need to fully accept.

So what if it wasn’t love? How is that my business now and in the months to come? Suffice it to say, reading Kundera’s words “She didn’t have room for him in his poetic memory,” was enough supporting principle that men, however foolish they can be when it comes to women, are naturally designed to be capable of one great love for one woman and one alone (every other encounter naturally pales in comparison). So in short, what I had witnessed — at my expense — was nothing more than a manifestation of a man, however twisted his ways can be, being capable of that one great love. And it was no longer my business to interrupt him from fully realizing that himself.

All that sewage and garbage he gave me brought him the gumption to retrieve his  one great love. Coming to think of it, from the very beginning, we were destined to crash and burn. He was in search for love I cannot give in my doubt that he could ever repay it in equal measure or more; and I was in search for happiness he did not own enough of to give away — for his happiness had long been possessed by another, way before I entered his life. Why then did we still have to reach the “crash and burn” part? Because we humans have naturally stubborn asses living out this day-to-day principle of “to see for ourselves is to believe.” Lol.

All this taught me that caution DOES play a role (a very important one) in one’s pursuit of happiness. Not everything out there is genuine and not everything we think is worth fighting for is actually worth it.

So yes, this year had been one crazy ride. The craziest I could ever add to my collection of years. If this year had been a relentless pursuit of happiness (which I believe I have found after some gruesome experience, thanks to Jude), then I am now facing a new year with enough force pushing me forward to go reclaim myself — for myself and for those who have nothing less than the best of interests for me in their hearts. My dear family and friends.

A happy new year to you!