“Pa, what do you think of people who look for prestige?”
I asked because I was genuinely curious.
“What do you mean?” my dad asked back.
I’m not a person in search for prestige. I mean, I want to be GREAT at what I do – if I do ever figure out what I want to do. It’s just that popularity comes second to the substance I’m aiming for, if not the last. Not to down anyone or any specific mindset – at least the people in search of prestige know what they want. Here from my end, I’ve just started chiseling my way through the pinnacle of an iceberg that has “What Aix wants out of life” written all over it. It’s a dirty job, I know. But somebody has to do it. By somebody, I mean me. Doesn’t it make you curious why prestige is in the bag of must-want, must-have, or must-reach for some people? I’m curious. And I want to know if it would make me less queer if I start going for the same thing.
“I just want to know what you think of it,” I said after a long pause.
“There’s nothing wrong in looking for prestige in life, it’s normal. It’s just that when you constantly eye on ‘Prestige’, your sense of self-value is greatly anchored on how other people look at you. It’s a race of popularity, of who’s who,” my dad said.
Well, I got some confirmation out of that – it definitely did not stimulate a tinge of interest in me in any way whatsoever. To me, the physical or the tangible doesn’t look too valuable. Competition of who’s better or who’s more was never exactly my thing. It being a probable sign of lacking motivation doesn’t worry me, with my fair share of both notable wins and losses. I’m just not constantly on the run for forms of ‘entitled’ acknowledgement or affirmation — and talking about this alone is starting to incredibly bore me lol.
You have the divine right to call me a nut case with what I’m about to admit. Just for everybody’s reference, I have always had – and I don’t think I’ll ever get cured of this – my heart set on the abstracts, on the immeasurable and the infinite. The only problem about this is that I never know where I am until it feels right.
Just when I was about to dismiss the thought, my dad followed his answer up with something that had a pull on the heart strings: “Eventually though, if you want to get more of life, you’ll have to learn to consciously start putting value on how God sees you over how the world does.”